Had a teeth cleaning last night. I never look forward to dentist visits. Few do. They're harmless enough, as long as you take good care of your teeth. I do a decent job, but need to floss more.You, too, right? And, you say the same thing to the dentist that I do, too I bet. "Yeah, I'll work on it better this time."
Uh huh. And then you floss for about three days, and that's that.
In my teens, I had to deal with the joy of braces. Although, it did give me a chance to meet my orthodontist, who about 10 times per visit would ask me to, "Bite, hmmm?" I actually hid a cassette recorder under my jacket during one visit, just to capture that phrase forever. It's part of our vernacular to this day. "Hey, dad, did you try that celery and dip yet? Bite, hmmm?"
My current dentist always has an eclectic mix of music playing over the speakers at his office, which helps keep my mind off of whatever work is being done, as I try to anticipate what genre is coming next. Reggae? Jazz? Thrash Metal? You never know.
Also a treat, the waiting room video that plays on a loop talking about how to take better care of teeth. There's a section featuring tooth-brushing monkeys, which always kills.
When you're having your teeth cleaned, do you find it hard to focus your eyes anywhere specific? It feels awkward to make eye contact with the hygienist, so I usually pick a spot in the ceiling and look there.
It's not that I'm rude, and don't want to interact with her, but, it's not exactly easy to answer any of their questions when your mouth is wide open, she's scraping away at your teeth and gums, and there's a suction hose hanging out of your mouth -- or, Mr. Thirsty, as my favorite fictional dentist, Tim Whatley calls it on Seinfeld.My blood pressure was a bit high before the cleaning -- the first time they've taken mine during a visit -- but, I chalk some of that up to the fact that I was at the dentist. You can't help but get at least a little bit antsy about your visit, even if it is just a cleaning, and then when they tell you you're getting your BP checked, there's another dose of angst, hoping that the numbers are good.
They should take my blood pressure at home each night when both kids finally go to bed. It would probably resemble a first round NCAA Tournament score, something in the 80 over 50 range.
As each cleaning begins, it's impossible for me to not think about the classic Bill Cosby routine about dentists.
